Fake Sasuke is the Best
by recodan
Summary: Quick Fic. What is Sasuke woke up and felt a little out of charecter?
1. Chapter 1

" Hello, little brother." said Itachi impassively, staring towards Sasuke. They were standing on top of a nondescript building, but for some reason it all seemed impressive, like the final scene of a action movie.

" Itachi!" screamed Sasuke, rushing forward. He lunged towards his brother, who blocked, but that had been what Sasuke wanted. Using a trick he had stolen from the eyebrow freaks he snapped Itachi's arm. As he brother recoiled in pain, Sasuke charged a Chidori and shoved it though Itachi's chest. The older Uchiha fell limp, instantly and finally dead.

Triumphant, Sasuke tossed his brothers corpse from the building as the credits began to roll…..

RINGGGGGGGGGG!

Grunting, Sasuke slapped his alarm clock to turn it off. He sat up, feeling positively cheery. He'd had his favorite dream that night, the one where he killed Itachi. Over and over again.

" This will be a good day!" he yelled triumphantly, leaping out of bed. He was in such a good mood he didn't realize that he was acting very out of character. He dressed and ran from his apartment, racing towards the bridge where his team met.

He got there first, joined shortly later by Naruto and Sakura.

" Hi, Sasuke-kun! Did you sleep well?" asked Sakura as she walked up.

" Yeah, I did!" laughed Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura's jaws dropped. " It was awesome! One second, Itachi was acting all badass, then bam, he's dead!"

" ….okay then." said Naruto, walking to the other side of the bridge and leaning against the railing. " Your in a good mood today."

" Yeah." said the smiling Uchiha. " Hey, you want to go get some ramen? I didn't have any breakfast."

" Sakura, be careful!" shouted Naruto, drawing a kunai. He had known something was wrong. " This is a fake Sasuke!"

" Who are you!" said Sakura angrily, flanking Sasuke from a short distance.

" Sasuke Uchiha, number one genius of the Leaf Village!" cheered Sasuke, not bothered by them. " Hey, you know what? I'll pay for the ramen today!"

" Fake Sasuke is the best!" said Naruto. He had intantly appeared at Sasuke's side and gave him a hearty slap on the back.

" Naruto!" hissed Sakura.

" You can come too if you want." Sasuke suggested to the pink haired girl.

" Fake Sasuke is the best!"

Five minutes later, they were at the ramen stand, chatting and eating merrily.

" So your really Sasuke?" asked Naruto though some noodles.

" Yep." replied Sasuke, taking a bite himself.

" And you really don't mind me being near you?" asked Sakura, who for the first time ever, was allowed to sit next to him.

" Nope."

" This is awesome." said Naruto.

" I hope you dream about killing Itachi every night from now on." said Sakura, who was shivering with excitement. She was plotting a way to scoot closer to Sasuke so maybe…just maybe they could accidently bump together. She'd would like that a lot.

" Hey, more ramen for my rival here!" said Sasuke loudly as Naruto finished his bowl. He got a thankful look from the ramen girl and Naruto as the new bowl was presented and ravaged. " Hey, Naruto, after this do you want to go practice ninjutsu? We have a while before sensei get's here."

" Yeah!" said Naruto heartily. " It's too bad sensei's such a lazy ass."

" You know what would be awesome?" said Sasuke, smiling evilly. " If we ditched him all day!"

" Where would we go?" asked Sakura, liking the idea of a day with Sasuke.

" We could hide in my apartment." suggested Sasuke. " I've got a bunch of ninja training scrolls, some practice mats, a big screen tv, and a fridge full of soda."

" Fake Sasuke is the best!" cheered his teammates.

" Dude." said the nearly speechless Naruto.

" I always knew your apartment would be cool like you, Sasuke-kun!" said an adoring Sakura. Sasuke's apartment was large, well furnished, well decorated, and probably the best place to waste an afternoon in existence.

" Thanks!" replied Sasuke, hopping onto the sofa. " Make yourselves at home!"

" All right!" cheered Naruto, racing to the kitchen and throwing it open. His eyes grew wide. " You…you found…how…they stopped making this…years ago…"

" What?" asked Sakura, who was photographing Sasuke's dirty laundry hamper. She was going to have a bunch of reconnaissance photo's none of the other fan girls would ever get.

" Ramen flavored soda!" said Naruto, taking out and cradling the can lovingly.

" Oh, yeah. Those are kinda old." said Sasuke, blinking in surprise. " I just never threw them away. Hey, what channel does everyone want to watch?" he asked, motioning to the tv.

" What do you get?" asked Kakashi, walking in casually.

" Sensei!" said Sakura, panicing. " I-it--we…."

" Not a problem, Sakura. It was about time for us to take a day off anyways." said Kakashi, taking a seat.

" Actually, sensei, you've wanted to let me copy some of those jutsu you've copied, and today's as good as any." said Sasuke, pointing to the door that led to the dojo.

" Sasuke, I've tried to get you to do this for months." said Kakashi, sighing. " Why today?"

" Because Fake Sasuke is the greatest!" said Naruto, leaping onto the sofa and downing half of the ramen flavored soda.

" Fake Sasuke?" asked Kakashi, confused. Naruto and Sakura explained quickly.

" Oh, and when were done training, I get a few high price adult channels you probably would be interested in, sensei." said Sasuke, walking to the dojo.

" Fake Sasuke is the best!" cheered Kakashi.

" Man, Sasuke was so awesome yesterday." said Naruto. Sakura nodded in agreement. He'd been everything they had ever wanted, shared his wealth and splendor, actually trained with them (Sakura had actually been punched by him! Many times! She could die with glee!).

" There he is!" said Kakashi, pointing. Since his star pupil was being more attentive, he had decided to show up early. " Hey Sasuke!" he greeted as the boy got close.

" Hn." said Sasuke, back into his usual sulk.

" What's wrong?" asked Naruto.

" He didn't dream about killing Itachi." sighed Sakura as Sasuke took his position a short distance from them. " He's back to normal."

" Screw that." said Kakashi, uncovering his Sharingan. " Fake Sasuke is the best."

" But what can we do?" asked Naruto.

" You two hold him, I'll genjutsu him so he's always fake Sasuke." said Kakashi, eyes gone quite mad. Naruto and Sakura's faces lit up in evil smiles as they advanced on the shocked Uchiha.

" Fake Sasuke is the best." they said in unison.


	2. Itachi

" Itachi." said Sasuke with a snarl. He was standing a short distance away from Itachi on top of a large building. While Itachi couldn't tell much about the building, the scene was impressive, like the end of a movie.

Behind Sasuke lay the broken corpses of the Akatsuki, which the younger Uchiha had carved his way through to get to Itachi. He had gotten quite strong and was now powerful enough that Itachi and he could fight equally. And, finally, Sasuke had finished the job and killed the blonde boy so his Sharingan were at full power.

" Foolish little brother, shall we fight?" suggested Itachi. Sasuke charged with a howl, his Mangekyou activating. Itachi activated his and their eyes met, locked in a genjutsu battle. Sasuke fought valiantly, but Itachi used his awesome ninja skills to dig out Sasuke's eyes and put them in a pickle jar. After an awesome battle where he had nearly lost to his brother he threw the lifeless corpse of Sasuke of the building and the credits began to roll…..

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Smiling, Itachi sat up and rubbed the sleep from his Sharingan. He'd had his favorite dream, the one where he tore his brothers eyes out and put them in a pickle jar. He felt unusually full of life. He dressed and left his room to join the others in the Akatsuki kitchen.

" 'sup bitch." said Hidan as he walked in. The evil priest was always the first up for his rituals.

" Oh, nothing really. Hey, are we killing anyone today?" asked Itachi in a singsong voice, helping himself to some toast.

" Uh…probably." said Hidan, blinking. That was more that Itachi said in some weeks.

" War! Un! What is good for" sand Diedara, skipping in. " Making bigass explosions, that's what!" he said with a hip thrust. It was his duty as a artist to freak the others out.

" Sing it with me! War!"

To Hidan and Diedara's shock, Itachi had joined in. Not wasting the opportunity, Diedara sand a duet and blew up the toaster in a combination exploding clay/fire jutsu attack.

" Whats's with you today, un?" asked Diedara as Hidan pulled shrapnel out of his neck.

" I don't know!" said Itachi, sitting down in a slouch. " I just feel good."

" I bet he's a impostor, un." grunted Diedara, watching the Uchiha.

" Yeah. Probably that little gay brother of his." said Hidan, hefting his scythe.

" You three, knock it off." said Pein, walking in. " We have a mission today."

" Do we get to kill heathens?" said Hidan hopefully.

" With explosions?" asked Diedara.

" Yes." said Pein with a sigh. " You three are the only ones here, so get to it. Zetsu will go with you and give you the details. Move it."

" That is?" asked Hidan, looking at the small monastery.

" Yup." said Zetsu.

" Goody! Lets go!" said Itachi, skipping towards the entrance. They barged ina dn were faced with a number of shocked looking monks.

" All of you, form a line!" commanded Itachi. " First, we'll be sacrificing you to a evil god, then we're gonna have Zetsu eat your bodies, and then the hermaphrodite will blow the everlifing fuck out of this place. Understand?"

" You serious?" said Hidan, walking up. " Usually you guys just kill a bunch and I can't do any proper sacrificing."

" Why not?" shrugged Itachi.

" And the bodies?" said Zetsu, licking his lips.

" I brought salt, pepper, ketchup, and mustard." said Itachi, handing the condiments to the plant man thing.

" And I get to blow stuff up without you being all 'Uchiha's are best" and shit, un?" asked Diedara.

" He didn't say…"

" Sure!" said Itachi with a smile. " And, between you and me, I think those explosions are actually quite pretty."

" Fake Itachi is the best!"

" So he's real?" asked Kisame, looking at the meal that Itachi had prepared. He'd cooked everyone in Akatsuki their favorite dinner. Kakazu had the cheapest Mac and Cheese that money could buy, Tobi had a lollypop, Sasori had WD40, and for Kisame there was a trussed up surfer (just like mom used to make!).

" Yep." said Diedara, smiling ear to ear.

" Eat up!" said Itachi, flittering about and filling up their drinks.

" Wow. This didn't cost you anything." said Kakazu, taking a bit of the macroni. " Good job."

" What brought this on?" asked Kisame, taking a bite.

" Oh, I had my favorite dream." said Itachi cheerfully.

" I hope you have it a lot then." said Pein, glad the asshole Uchiha was finally doing more than just standing and looking cool.

" Popcorn?" asked Itachi, bringing in a large bowl of buttery popcorn. He'd paid for them to get cable in the lair, so everyone was watching their TV. Kakazu couldn't complain about of large it was or how much money they were wasting because Itachi paid for it out of pocket.

" Yeah, un!" said Diedara, grabbing the bowl and putting both hands in. Munching sounds came from the popcorn as the mouths on his hands ate for him.

" I don't want any now that he's touched it." said Hidan in disgust.

" I have separate bowls for everyone!" said Itachi, brining in more.

" Fake Itachi is the best!"

" Man, I hope he had that dream again." said Kisame hopefully. Last night, after the free massages, Itachi had promised a pancake breakfast. Everyone was up early and waiting for him.

As everyone waited with baited breath, the Uchiha slid into the room, looking rather unemotional.

" Damn." swore Hidan as Itachi sat down.

" I really wanted pancakes." sighed Kisame.

" What would cheer you up again, Itachi-san?" asked Tobi, who usually made breakfast.

" Hurting an Uchiha." said Itachi emotionlessly.

" Oh! Right then!" said Tobi, tearing off the mask and revealing his true Obito-ness. Itachi stabbed him and raced into the kitchen where he began to sing merrily and make breakfast.

" Fake…Itachi is…the best." wheezed Tobi, sitting up abut pulling the kunai from his chest.

" Damn right." said everyone in unison.


End file.
